Nicknames
by Krista Kat
Summary: How DID the boys at Wammy House get such strange nicknames? Find out here! Rated for Mello's pottymouth. XD


Roger sighed. He'd told all the children a month ago to take precautionary nicknames, and they'd listened. Most of them. All except for the ones he actually needed to do so.

Nate River, Mihael Keehl, and Mail Jeevas. First, second, and third in line to be L, respectively. He didn't know if they were playing a cruel joke, (he wouldn't put it past the second two) were truly trying to think of impenetrable aliases, (doubtful) or just simply didn't care (most likely.) These youngsters were bright and driven, he of all people should know that, but if it was something they didn't care about, he got about as much out of them as he did with L when forced to sit properly and eat something even vaguely healthy.

So today was the day. He was going to get a nickname out of them, one way or another.

He started with Nate, the one most likely to have a nickname by now. He found him in his room, constructing a puzzle.

"Nate?" He asked tentatively.

"How can I help you, Roger." Nate answered blandly.

"I need you to decide on you alias. Have you thought of one?"

A pause. And then…

"Nearly."

"What? It's been a whole month, Nate. Surely you've thought of something."

"Not yet. I require more time."

Roger sighed. Knowing he wouldn't get any farther with this, he left Nate to his toys.

Next was Mail. His class was currently at lunch, and he found the boy multitasking brilliantly with a GameBoy and a plate of spaghetti.

"What's up, Roger?" The boy asked before the old man could say anything.

"Mail, you know about the directive regarding names. I need you to make a decision."

"Yeah, I decided it doesn't matter."

Roger sighed inwardly. "It matters, Mail. Please, make a decision or I will."

Mail looked at him, annoyed, and said, "Roger, it doesn't matter. Now sod off before I decide to hack the system again."

Fuming and unsuccessful, he made his way to Mihael's room (the boy was rarely found anywhere else when not in class.) Throwing the door open, he quietly and angrily asked, "Mihael, tell me you've decided on a name, or no chocolate for a month."

The look the boy gave him could have shattered glass. "Roger, I swear to god, mellow the hell out. And don't touch my chocolate unless you want me to have Mail hack the damn system. Again."

!#&()

And so, Roger sat at his desk with nothing more than he'd began. Well, maybe a few added points on his blood pressure, but nothing other than that.

Until he remembered what he'd said to a certain redhead:

_"Make a decision or I will."_

And so, at his wit's end, he constructed a list.

!#&()

The next day, there was a sharp pounding on his office door. Without having to ask who it was, he simply yelled, "Come in."

A _very_ angry blonde stormed in.

"What the fuck is this, Roger? '_Mellow Out'_?! What the hell kind of name is that?!"

Before he had a chance to reply, there was another sharp rap on the office door. Mail let himself in before Roger had time to respond.

"Roger, where do you get off calling me 'It Matters?'"

He was again cut off by a slight tap at the door. "Come in," he said weakly, already knowing who was behind the door.

A very shocked looking Nate peeked in the doorway. "Roger, unless my eyesight fails me, I do believe you intend to call me 'Nearly.'"

He sighed, gestured for them all to take a seat. "Boys, I'm afraid we couldn't wait any longer. I took your responses yesterday and… shall we say… improvised."

Immediately, the two older boys started voicing their complaints, with Nate attempting to do the same (and failing miserably.)

Roger sighed again. "Well, if it bothers you that much, I suppose you can change them."

The three boys brightened immediately.

"…..But," he continued, "You are only allowed variations of your current names, as punishment. You made me wait much too long to allow you to get a full reprieve, so you have until the end of the day to submit your revisions. If you fail to do so, the rest of Wammy House _will_ be calling you by the names I assigned. Any questions?"

The three shook their heads dejectedly and made their way out. All except for Nate, who turned and said, "Roger, the only name that makes any sense other than 'Nearly' is 'Near.' I request that as my change."

Roger blinked, confused. "Such a small change, Nate. Why not just stay with what I gave you?"

Near looked up at him with his wide eyes. "Because I like to choose my own fate, Roger. Mihael and Mail are much the same way, if not more so. I'm sure you'll hear from them later today."

And with that, the small boy made his way out.

Around lunchtime, he heard another rap on his door. Mail stuck his head in.

"'Matt.'" He said decisively.

"'Mat?' Like as in, 'floor mat?'" Roger asked, confused.

Mail sighed. "No… 'Matt,' as in the name 'Matt.' Two t's. From the Hebrew word meaning….." (insert toothy grin) "'Gift from God?'"

Roger rolled his eyes. "…Alright. Matt it is."

Right around eight, and with Roger just about to give up, there was a hard knock on the door. Mihael came in and sat down, chocolate bar in his hand as almost an act of defiance.

Roger looked at him intently, waiting for his name.

Mihael sighed. "Mello. Without a 'w.'"

Roger was surprised. "Why without the 'w?'"

Mihael looked at him as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Because I'm _not_. Mellow, I mean."

"Then why not call yourself 'Out?' Most people wouldn't expect you to call yourself 'Mello.'"

Mihael took a large bite out of his chocolate and grinned widely. "Did it ever occur to you that that's why I did it?"

And with that, Mihael left.

Roger stared at the seat bemusedly. Near was right, no surprise there. It just always baffled Roger how these children could surprise him in the best of ways.

Smiling, Roger made up his new list.

!#&()end)()&#!

A quick authors note—This is NOT my orginal idea! Not completely, at least. I got the idea from Matilda at AFF. She came up with "It Matters," not me! The other two are mine, but she deserves most of the credit for the idea. If you're over 18, check out her story—It's a GREAT read! Link is anime./story.php?no60044346 But again I say, 18+!! You've been warned. (just put a www. in front and .adult fan fiction minus the spaces in the back.)

And as a side note, I thought it was awesome that when I Wikipedia'd the origin of Matt (the name), guess who was referenced on the page! Yes, you guessed it! Matt of Death Note! If you want to see it, Wiki 'Matt' and scroll to the bottom. Hope you enjoyed this!


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